


The Captain

by Laburnum26



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Captain Swan AU Week 2016, Crossover, DW AU, Doctor Who AU, Doctor Who Alternative Universe, F/M, ouat x dw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-12
Updated: 2016-08-12
Packaged: 2018-08-08 07:27:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7748629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laburnum26/pseuds/Laburnum26
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emma Swan works as an ordinary bail bondswoman when she meets 'The Captain' who claims himself to be an alien, particularly a Time Lord.<br/>TimeLord!Killian and Companion!Emma<br/>The first part was originally written for the CS AU Week 2016 - Day 1: Crossover, then I continued it a little bit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Emma Swan was fed up. She has been working all day long trying to track down a monster who betrayed his wife just to get out of jail. Sly and untraceable. The worst combination Emma could imagine. Though, she liked the challenge at first. Her job as a bail bondswoman was never boring, but she never turned down a good challenge. But a week has passed, and she still hasn’t found a single clue, and it was getting on her nerves.

She slammed the table with her fist in anger. The person next to her jumped in her seat.

‘Girl, you should chill out a little.’ Elsa, her colleague smiled. ‘What’s the matter?’

‘I’m sorry.’ Emma shook her head. ‘It’s just… This case is so impossible! There’s no sign of the man! Not a phone call, not an e-mail, not a single clue! It’s like he didn’t even exist!    

'You should take a break’ Elsa said with a worried smile. 'You’ve been working so hard these days, you deserve a day out. Listen, tonight me and the girls are going out. Ruby is going to bring her girlfriend, Dorothy too. You should join us. Get a little detached from work. What do you say?’ Elsa said smiling widely.

'Thanks Elsa. But I gotta get to the end of his case. I can’t go. There’s something fishy about this guy.’ Emma sighed.

'Fine.’ Elsa knew Emma enough not to force it.'Just promise me, you won’t stay here 'till ten, like yesterday. Our electricity bills won’t get cheaper, you know.’ she tried to joke.

Emma smiled weakly at Elsa. She was exhausted and annoyed. 'Don’t worry. I’ll just look up something then I’ll be going.’

Elsa gave her a doubtful look as she picked up her backpack with 'THE COLD NEVER BOTHERED ME ANYWAY’ sign on it.

'I promise.’ Emma sighed.

Elsa looked back from the door and gave her an 'I keep an eye on you’ look.

'Cross my heart.’ Emma said it now with a laugh, and Elsa gave her a bright smile. And she was gone.

Emma took a deep breath as she typed 'Mr. Rumple Gold’ in the search engine for the hundredth time. But suddenly the computer screen went off with a silent “puff”, and the lights in the office started flickering.

Emma sat there for a while in shock, wondering what to do. Something must have gone wrong with the electricity supply. It’s the second time this week. She should call Jeff to fix it. She looked around in the office to call for Jefferson, the janitor, until she realized that she was all alone. But then, whose breathing was she hearing? She pulled out the top drawer of her desk and grabbed the first thing that she could reach. At least, she wasn’t unarmed now. Unluckily, her “weapon” was only a stapler. A picture appeared in Emma’s mind of a really creepy horror movie as she quickly pointed the stapler in the direction of the sound.

'Whose there?’ she asked in a strict voice.

'Why? Who’s there?’ the response came from under one of the desks.

’ I said. Who’s. There.’ Emma put a stress on every word. ’ I had a long, exhausting day, and I’m not in the mood for silly pranks’ she said. Suddenly, a head popped out from under the desk three chairs away from Emma. It was a man totally dressed in leather with  dark, fluffy hair, and a massive amount of eyeliner.

'It’s just me, lass.’ he said. 'Now if you could give me a hand…’ he chuckled as if he had said something funny. 'Would you mind giving me that pair of scissors on your desk?’

Emma gave the man the scissors with absolute confusion on her face.

'Who are you?’ she demanded.

'I’m the Captain’ he said as he kept doing whatever he was doing.

'The Captain of what?’ she asked. 'And what are you doing?’

'Just the Captain.’ he ignored her question as he emerged from under the table. 'And you are?’

'Emma. Emma Swan.’ she answered.

'Nice to meet you Emma Swan. Alright lass, now if I can have a suggestion. They found me so… Run for your life!’ he shouted just in the exact moment when a troop of rhino-headed men stormed in the office.

'In the name of the Shadow Proclamation, you have violated the Galactic Law by selling illegal alien articles to humans. You will now come with us!” one of the rhinos said.

The so-called Captain quickly grabbed Emma’s hand as they made their way to the door on the other side of the office.

'Wait! You did what?’ she shouted as they reached another door. Unluckily, it was locked. The man reached out with his other hand to push the door, but his hand didn’t move.

'Bloody Torchwood!’ he shouted as the heavy footsteps of the rhinos got louder. 'Don’t worry Captain! This time, there’s no bug in it! It will work perfectly!’ he said in a high-pitched voice as if he was imitating someone. He quickly grabbed his little finger with his teeth and just pulled off his hand like a glove.

Emma watched in horror as the hand fell on the floor with a few electric sizzles. When she looked back, there was a shiny hook in place of his hand. A few green lights were burning on the hook, and the man himself looked like a pirate from a sci-fi.

'That’s better.’ he said as he held the hook, which was now making a weird buzzing sound, to the door.

'What’s that?’ Emma asked in horror.

'Sonic hook.’ he said without looking up at her but still holding her hand.

A few seconds later, the door clicked, and the Captain opened it as they darted towards the emergency exit.

A few minutes later, they were out in the fresh air, and the Captain quickly ran behind a dustbin, pulling a completely numb Emma after himself.

Emma just opened her mouth to ask thousands of questions when the troop stepped out the door.

'Find him’ one of the rhinos said as the troop spread in different directions.

The Captain waited a few minutes then looked around.

'All clear’ he said with a smirk. 'I should get back to the…’ he started, but Emma interrupted him.

'You’re not going anywhere. Not until you’ve explained me what the hell that was.’

'Okay, Swan. It was Swan, was it?’ he asked, and Emma nodded. 'First of all, I’m the Captain. And I’m a Time Lord.’


	2. Chapter 2

Come again?’ Emma asked in shock. She was sure now that the man in front of her was nuts. Not just simply nuts. He was absolutely mad!

The man rolled his eyes, as if she should know what a “Time Lord” was.

‘Time Lord’ he said simply. ‘Well… not in full glory, but yes. I’m a Time Lord.’

Emma shot a confused glanced at him.

‘You know… An _alien_ ’ the Captain’s tone was irritated.

‘Yeah. Of course!’ Emma sneered. ‘How could have I forgotten? Of course you’re an alien!’ she mocked him.

‘Don’t tell me that aliens are news for you, love’ he said incredulously.

Emma’s eyebrows shot up. Of course, she had heard some weird news on TV about London being attacked by aliens. But she never really thought about it. She suspected that the Brits are simply mad. Or everyone had been drugged. Or…

‘There’s no such thing as aliens’ she said. ‘You’re either a mad psychopath or a very good liar. Or both’ she found the last one the most reasonable. ‘And I’m not your love.’

‘You’ve seen it with your own eyes! The Shadow Proclamation! The… rhinos’

‘They could have been masks. I couldn’t see it very well, since I was busy running after a half-handed madman!’ she shouted.

‘Shhsss…’ he said as he put his sonic or whatever kind of hook on Emma’s lips to shush her. ‘They will find us if you make so much noise, love.’

That was the last straw for Emma. She had a mystery to uncover and this madman was feeding on her time and sanity. She angrily pushed away the hook from her lips as she made a decision.

‘That’s it! I’m calling the police! You’re danger to everyone and to yourself.’ she reached for her phone in her pocket but it wasn’t there. Damn it! She left it in the office. Blasted space pirate!

‘Oh, am I?’ he asked. ‘Okay, so if I’m a Captain and I’m an alien, I must have a spaceship, right? I’ll show you my spaceship!’ he offered.

‘I’m not going anywhere with you Captain of madness’ she said.

‘Come on, love. It’s just five minutes. You don’t even have to get into it. I’ll just show you then I’ll let you leave. You don’t need to get involved in my mess anyway…’

‘Why would you want to convince me? What does it matter to you?’ Emma asked suspiciously. ’And again, I’m not your love.’

‘Well… I’m an alien on Earth, and dozens of space cops are chasing me. Though it is really hard to admit, but I could use some help…’ he smirked, ignoring Emma’s last sentence. Emma knew that the man was not lying. She had a special ability which told her when somebody was lying. This time, her instincts were mute. That is why she was so shocked when the man told him he was an alien. Her instincts said nothing, and it scared Emma. She can’t be wrong, right? But aliens don’t exist! But she just got chased by a rhino-headed horde and ran with a man who had a sonic hook! It’s all so confusing! But she liked it, she had to admit it. The mystery. That’s why she decided to become a bail bondswoman. For the mystery. The investigations, the tracking downs, the thinking and searching. And this one was certainly a mystery. Emma couldn’t resist this kind of temptation.

‘Fine’ she said at last. ‘But just five minutes. I give you five minutes to prove that you’re not a madman or a criminal.’

‘I can’t promise the last one’ he smirked. Emma rolled her eyes. ‘Come on, Swan. I’ll show you my ship.’ he said as he stepped out of behind the dustbins after looking around carefully. They started walking on the street. Heads turned after them, but the Captain didn’t even notice.

‘So, let’s say I believe you’ Emma started. ‘Then what were those rhino… stormtrooper… things?’

‘Judoon’ the Captain said.

‘Bless you!’ Emma said it automatically.

‘I wasn’t sneezing, Swan’ he smirked. ‘It’s the name of the species. Judoon. The rhinos’ he said when she still didn’t understand. ‘Well… they are a sort of… intergalactic police. They work for the Shadow Proclamation. If you have violated the law… they come for you and well… ya know…’ the Captain pulled his hook in front of his neck to illustrate the end of the sentence. Emma was stunned.

‘You mean they just simply… execute you?’ she asked. ‘Without any further judicial hearing?’

The Captain shrugged. ‘I don’t know. Never let them catch me before’ he smiled devilishly. Emma rolled her eyes. Then they walked silently, each one of them deep in their thoughts.

‘So are you gonna tell me why?’ Emma asked suddenly from the Captain.

‘Why what?’ he asked.

‘Why did you sell alien articles to… humans?’ she asked. ‘I mean if you have a spaceship, you don’t need much money, I guess. And if you’re an alien and you travel in space, why would you need some American dollars? I’m sure you can’t pay with that at the intergalactic Burger King.’ The Captain laughed. For the first time in their encounter.

‘You’re right, Swan.’ he said. ‘Well, there happened to be some… not-so-legal drones on my ship’ Emma’s eyebrows shot up doubtfully. ‘Which I was transferring to another place. But my ship got damaged and I managed to land here. Since I was stuck here for a while, I could simply make money too in order to survive. So I sold some drones to get some money to repair my ship.’ he shrugged.

‘And how did you end up in the office?’ Emma asked.

‘I read an article in the newspaper that the Story and Brook Company had the latest computer technology that no one has ever used before. Triple-chipped electric wires. And that was what I needed for my ship’ he said as he pulled out some wires from his black leather pocket on his jacket and waved it in front of Emma. She nodded in response. So that was what he was doing. Robbing a computer. The Story and Brook Company was indeed famous for always using the latest technology to track down criminals. She heard something that the new computers had special chips or something, but she never bothered to pay attention to it. She didn’t care. Why would she, if the computer was running properly?

‘So you broke in’ she said. ‘Because why buy one if you can steal one?’

‘Even I can’t afford that’ he said. ‘Well, at least not here… And the shipping takes two months! I can’t wait that long, lass! I’ve got stuff to do.’

‘Like stealing and scaring innocent people to death?’ Emma sneered.

‘Yeah, it’s part of the job’ he faked a smile.

‘Part of being a Time Lord?’ Emma asked. ‘What the hell is a Time Lord, anyway?’

‘Well, Time Lords are very gracious, wise and… very rare nowadays.’ he chuckled sarcastically. ‘Only two of us remained. Well, one and a half.’ he smiled.

‘Why a half?’ she looked curious.

‘Well, I was a sort of troublemaker. I am now too’ he smiled. ‘But at the age of fifty - oh how young I was! - I had done so much trouble and I had been so unnerving that the Council kicked me out. Well, I think the correct term is “disinherit” but you can’t do that. The Council declared me not being a Time Lord and not being a habitant of Gallifrey - that’s my planet. But you can’t just tell someone that they aren’t something that they are. It’s like I would say that you’re not human, but you are indeed, because it’s in your blood. You can’t disinherit genes’ he shrugged. ‘So I shouldn’t be a Time Lord according to them, but I am. I am very much a Time Lord’ Emma could hear pride and desperation in his voice. ‘When they “fired” me, I stole a ship and got away before they could catch me and throw me off the planet. So I guess, I could be counted as a half, if we look at it strictly.’

‘And what about the other one? Do you know him? Have you met him? Or her?’ Emma asked.

‘Yes. He’s a nice mate. But he’s busy all the time. Saving the universe and other boring stuff. He really loves Earth and humans, ya know? And he is just so obsessed with them. I never understood why. No offense’ he said. Emma just shook her head in disbelief.

They had stopped in front of a narrow dark alley.

‘We’re here, lass’ the Captain said. Emma looked in the alley.

‘I can’t see anything’ she said suspiciously, her paranoia growing stronger. ‘I warn you, I’ve learned karate, so if it’s just a sick trick to get me alone, I swear…’

‘No!’ he interrupted her. ‘Look closer.’ Emma narrowed her eyes, blinked a few times and suddenly saw it. It wasn’t a spaceship. It was a ship. A real life ship in the alley, in the dark and litter.

‘How is this possible?’ Emma was shocked.

‘Perception filter’ he explained. ’You don’t expect it to be there, so you don’t see it.

‘Oh and where’s the “space” part?’ she asked. ‘Cos it seems like a normal ship to me.’

‘Don’t ever say that of her!’ he exclaimed, hurt. ‘She is more than a ship, more even than a spaceship!’ he started explaining, bothered.

‘Is she alive or something?’ Emma laughed at the idea of a living spaceship.

‘She’s just as alive as you, love.’ he said. Emma rolled her eyes at the name again, but said nothing this time. ‘She’s a TARDIS. Time and relevant dimension in space. TARDISes are not made but grown. TARDISes are aliens, just like me. But I don’t call her that’ a soft smile spread across the pirate’s face. It was really odd for Emma to see him in such a caring moment. He never looked like the type who could care about anything. ‘It would be ridiculous’ he continued. It’s like giving a dog the name “Dog”. Makes no sense.’

‘Then how do you call it?’ Emma asked arching a brow. The Captain shot her an unimpressed glance. ‘I mean… her’ she corrected herself.

‘Swan, meet the Jolly Roger!’ he said with huge pride in his voice. Emma waved a hand clumsily at the ship.

‘Hello, Jolly Roger! I’m Emma Swan and… I’m talking to a ship!’

‘I didn’t say she’d respond’ the Captain grinned. ’Do you believe me now?’

‘Okay. Let’s say I buy that you’re an alien and this is an alien spaceship. Let’s say I believe you, space pirate’ the Captain smirked at the nickname. ‘Then what?’

‘I need your help, love.’ And once again Emma’s eyebrows shot up at the name. ‘I’m not really good with humans, let’s say. Don’t blame me, Swan. It’s so hard to fit in your society! Anyway, I could use someone who goes to the shops and gets me what I need’.

‘So basically, you need a dogsbody?’ she said sarcastically.

‘No, you don’t understand, Swan. If I go there myself, I might do something weird. Alien. I would get caught. And with the Judoon on the streets, it’s even more difficult.’ Emma shot a doubtful look at him. The Captain sighed and said:

‘Okay, lass. Let’s make a deal, though deals aren’t my stuff. You help me repair my spaceship, and I will take you on a trip to anywhere you want. You can see the universe. Not bad, huh, Swan?’ he smirked. Emma gulped. This was a though question. She still didn’t believe him entirely. But he was an alien and he really had a spaceship then… Elsa was right. She could use a vacation. And what’s a better vacation than spending it on another planet? Emma realised that she had not much to lose. The worst thing that could happen is that she wastes her time on a madman for a few days. And if not… Oh, she really wanted to see the stars!

‘Okay. I’ll help you’ she said finally. ‘Just one more question.’

‘Yes?’

‘In “Time Lord” and in the… “TARDIS”, what does time stand for?’ she asked already afraid of the answer. The man looked at her as a huge grin spread across his face and said:

‘Why, for time travel of course!’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do you guys think of it? Please let me know! :) I might continue it if people seem to like it. :)


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